broken glass

We never know the things we know, nothing’s right, nothing’s wrong…everything has the meaning of our mind, of our thoughts. Nothing really exists because nothing really matters anymore.

All faces are strange when we feel strange. Nobody remembers your name when you need it, when you scream your lungs out trying to say what you are scared to say. Nothing really matters now. Nothing’s really important now.  My room is an escape where I don’t feel saved; however, the comfort is extremely warm even if I can see the ice freezing the walls and the wind blowing my floor tiles away.

Yesterday was just yesterday. All the memories born there died there and isn’t painful anymore. Yesterday is past and, even if I still remember it, it won’t touch my soul; it won’t mutilate my heart or rip my skin.

Women and children walk toward the river; they go crazy and attacked by the promiscuous vanity, feeling the sunshine penetrating their body and their wild spirit. They raise old rusty armors obeying the gods and demons and all the powers that are above them.  The angels dance obscene poetry, lewd poems that invite gods and man and women and children to a crazy orgy of mutilation, happiness and blood.

You never know what’s going on in my mind, you will never know it even if I tell you…you will never know what is the true or what is the lie… because, indeed, I slept with gods, I slept with angels, I had sex with demons and saints. I participated in those orgies of madness and freedom. I blew all the words and all the feeling away and I sold my skinny body to the butchers of the world.

…because the day you left my world, I was too weak to try to stop you. Because the day you left my bed, I didn’t want to change you anymore. Because the day you left I realized you were never there even when I used to see you beside me.

…because all my tears has a name. Ironically it was your name. Today I don’t even remember how to spell it. I don’t even remember the outline of your pretty face. I don’t remember the sounds coming from your mouth; the sweet of the bitter lies told by your tender lips. Everything that came from you, gone with you, everything you gave me you took away with you.

…because I threw my heart away!

…because I threw the hope away!

…because I threw my soul away!

…because I threw you away!

…because you are just a broken glass that can’t be fixed!